Kissing a woman at her FOREHEAD is Respect
At her LIPS is LoveCHEEKis HeroismNECK is Lust
BUT KISSING HER IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND IS BRAVERY.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........
Woman: If you were my husband I'd poison your coffee.
Man: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........
A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,This is my sardarni,He is my kid,& she is my kidney.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........
English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor"
Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses,
"NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, November 2, 2008
FRIENDS
"FRIENDS STAND BEHIND U DURING UR BAD TIMES"
Do u want a documentary proof ??
Ok,In future check out ur marriage album..U'll find al frns behind u !!!
............ ......... ......... ......... .....
Its a Fact : A Girl may not help u to get lot of Salary But..
Salary may help u to get lot of Girls. So, Love ur Work not Girls...!
............ ......... ......... ......... .....
How wud an angrez tel an indian naukar
Who cant undrstnd english 2 "open d door."
Speak Dis very fast. "There was a Cold Day"
............ ......... ......... ......... .....
In india,we hav only POSTMAN,but no POSTWOMAN,why?
Bcos ,they take 9 months for DELIVERY
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do u want a documentary proof ??
Ok,In future check out ur marriage album..U'll find al frns behind u !!!
............ ......... ......... ......... .....
Its a Fact : A Girl may not help u to get lot of Salary But..
Salary may help u to get lot of Girls. So, Love ur Work not Girls...!
............ ......... ......... ......... .....
How wud an angrez tel an indian naukar
Who cant undrstnd english 2 "open d door."
Speak Dis very fast. "There was a Cold Day"
............ ......... ......... ......... .....
In india,we hav only POSTMAN,but no POSTWOMAN,why?
Bcos ,they take 9 months for DELIVERY
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Super Computer
The Super Computer stood at the end of the Computer Company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo.
"This", he said, "is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".
At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Computer's microphone.
"Where is my father?" he asked.
There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.
On it were printed the words: Fishing off Goa.
Clever Guest laughed.
"Actually", he said, "My father is dead"!
It had been a tricky question! The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?
Clever Guest thought, went to the Computer and this time said, "Where is my mother's husband?"
Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights. And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words, "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Goa."
"This", he said, "is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".
At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Computer's microphone.
"Where is my father?" he asked.
There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.
On it were printed the words: Fishing off Goa.
Clever Guest laughed.
"Actually", he said, "My father is dead"!
It had been a tricky question! The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?
Clever Guest thought, went to the Computer and this time said, "Where is my mother's husband?"
Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights. And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words, "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Goa."
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Antim sanskar
Biwi ka antim sanskar kar ek aadmi ghar ja raha tha.
Achanak..... Bijli chamki tufan Aaya aur barish Hui,
Dukhi Aadmi bola "Lagta Hai Pahuch Gayi."
~~~~~~~~~
Paani mein Whiskey milao at nasha chadta hai.Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
~~~~~~~~~
A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Hua', 'So-Hua'
~~~~~~~~~
What's the diff between Dava & Daru?Dava is like girlfriend,That comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,Jitni purani hogi utna sir Chad ke bolegi.
~~~~~~~~~
Achanak..... Bijli chamki tufan Aaya aur barish Hui,
Dukhi Aadmi bola "Lagta Hai Pahuch Gayi."
~~~~~~~~~
Paani mein Whiskey milao at nasha chadta hai.Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
~~~~~~~~~
A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Hua', 'So-Hua'
~~~~~~~~~
What's the diff between Dava & Daru?Dava is like girlfriend,That comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,Jitni purani hogi utna sir Chad ke bolegi.
~~~~~~~~~
why men wear ear rings??
I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer.
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring, "he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my car."
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring, "he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my car."
Chak de India!!
There was a good old barber in Hyderabad. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you, I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there ......
Scroll down for answer...... ......... ....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... With Printouts of the Forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut!
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you, I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there ......
Scroll down for answer...... ......... ....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... With Printouts of the Forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Some light jokes
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter :Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer:No, I can't.Waiter:Then does it really matter?
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~~
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
~~~~~~~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
