Did you know....

School: A place where Papa pays
and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that
keeps you poor all your life so
that
you can die Rich.


Nurse: A person who wakes u up
to give you sleeping pills.


Marriage: It's an agreement in
which a man loses his bachelor
degree
and a woman gains her masters.


Divorce: Future tense of
Marriage.


Tears: The hydraulic force by
which masculine willpower is
defeated by
feminine waterpower.


Lecture: An art of transferring
information from the notes of
the
Lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through
"the minds of
either"


Conference: The confusion of one
man multiplied by the number
present.


Compromise: The art of dividing a
cake in such a way that
everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.


Dictionary : A place where
success comes before work.


Conference Room : A place where
everybody talks, nobody listens
and
everybody disagrees later on.


Father: A banker provided by
nature.


Criminal: A guy no different from
the rest....except that he got
caught.


Boss: Someone who is early when
you are late and late when you
are
early.

Politician : One who shakes your
hand before elections and your
Confidence after.


Doctor : A person who kills your
ills by pills, and kills you by bills.


Classic: Books, which people
praise, but do not read.


Smile: A curve that can set a lot
of things straight.


Office: A place where you can
relax after your strenuous home
life.


Yawn: The only time some
married men ever get to open
their mouth.


Etc.: A sign to make others
believe that you know more than
you
actually do.


Committee : Individuals who can
do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done
together.


Experience: The name men give
to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end
all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments
himself during life, to be spoken
of when
dead .